Well I am up by noon today, nice, I have been in a bad slump of sleeping till 3 or 4 this past week.  I get nothing accomplished.  I am laying in bed the sun is breaking thru my clouds and shining in horizontal slats across my room.  My plans for today nothing.  Thats the hardest thing about recovery from the benzo detox is the rebound anxiety missed with my mind filling me with a weird feeling from before. ..

I miss those speedy days with my girlfriend.  It seems like I constantly cycle back to nostalgic drug memories, is that a form of craving, it doesnt matter.  I definetly would not want to be spending today by waking up and before my eyes even open I am already consumed with my morning dose.  Of course I have none left from the previous night.  So lets see…

I was living in NYC at the time.  I was having a hard time living in Chicago because my habit was out of control, always getting my dope and still strung out and sick.  Bouncing from one court case to another in such a narcotic haze, I beat those fucking cops over 25 times with major felonies thru the years in Chicago, no thanks to my lawyer.  Thanks Kuzas.  So needless to say leaving town to avoid any further entainglement was smart.  I had a friend staying in NYC in his sisters ‘back-up’ apartment.  She was the producer on the Jenny Jones show for years and in my younger years we got to sell her and her friend ‘Jenny McCarthy’ a bag of mushrooms [a half ounce] to her flat in Chicago.  I was young at the time 19-20 yrs old?  But when those two hung out [old college buddies] they would hit the town and party.  Sometimes we were the ones that scored the drugs.  Mushrooms and coke, I remember walking up to drop of a 1/2 of mushrooms to her and Jenny.  This was in Jenny McCarthy’s begining days and fuck was she hot and scoring mushrooms.  Nice.

So I move out to NYC to give Mike a roomate.  It was a sweet perfect pad.  Right on the corner of bleecker and Jones street just a short cab ride or walk down to Houston and Ave A B or C.  Thats where my dealers lived.  I decided I was going to clean up and live in NYC, I dont know what I was thinking but what ever.  I went out there with a gram of chicago heroin that was gone soon.  I had money so that wasnt an issue.  My second day I found out where the drug markets were for what.  To my surprise they were in nice areas, with a bunch of party kids.  I am sure the drug markkets get as bad as chicago but thiss made it too easy.  Soon I was off to the races, a typical day would be to wake  up, shoot my wake up bag, take an adderall, lay in bed.  Than get up go down onto the streets and stop at this bakery that was right down the street, whos windows were filled with all sorts of goodies.  I would get one and continue on my way.

Once the adderall was bumping thru me I would decide if wallking was going to happen that day.  It was only like 6 blocks but the degree of my sickness was always the deciding factor.  It was a nice walk with model looking hot chicks thrown into the masses.  As I would get up to the corner at Houston and A I would use the payphone to call B&B. Benda and Billy.  They were a block away and always slanging.  How I met them was a random coincidence.  I was using the open market parks to score in the first couple days I was there, shady and could never get as much as I wanted safely.  Everybody was nodded out all over the place.  One day I saw this kid nodding out against a phone poll, I knew he ws igh and probably wanted some more bags.  So I knocked him on his shoulder to knock him out of his stupor.  I gave him my schpiel.

“Hey I’m drew just moved here from Chicago and I am running out on dope, quick.  You wouldnt be able to help me to score, there’d be something in it for you…”

“Aghhrkdlllllaahhh, yea hI can help youu, I have2 friends that sell out of there apartment just a couple blocks away get me 2 bags and I’ll indroduce you as my cousin from out of state.  That way you can come in and than your set”

“Aww man, shit thanks thats just what I was looking for, I’ll hook you up”

So we make the walk getting to know each other.  He was a little older than me and your typical street junky, kinda looked like he fell of the grateful dead hippy bus a decae ago now spun out on heroin instead of lsd.  Than I met B&B two lovers that had a packaging machine to seal up there dope.  I was in heaven, 80$ bundles, raw dope, and powdered coke in 10$ dime bags.  Needless to say I was a good customer.  My stomch flips when I think of some of those gut twisting bellringers I would have in there lazy-boy, phewww.  That habit got bad over there.  Getting my meds Overnight mailed from Chicago.  Its way to easy to be a junky in greenwich village.

http://www.forgotten-ny.com/STREET SCENES/bleecker/bleecker.html

Peace,

Seedless