April 2007


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Promises made in the dark dissolve by light of day
Easy answers
Ain’t no saying what will be, it’s always been that way
Only thing I know for sure, someone got to pay
Easy answers
Ain’t no easy answers, is what I got to say

Easy answers
I don’t wanna hear
Ain’t nobody cares
C’mon let’s go
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know

Love is an easy word to say, roll’s right off the tongue
Easy answers
Seems to crop up like a weed, in every song that’s sung
It always sounds so easy, the way it falls upon the ear
Easy answers
Plenty easy answers now, listen to me here
Easy answers

Find ’em anywhere
Easy answers
Easy answers
Easy answers
Easy answers
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know

Shut your eyes and listen to the colours of your mind
Easy answers
Give yourself a breath of air, let your soul unwind
Easy answers
You don’t have to say a word, you got dick to say
‘Cause no-one ever said there’s gonna be an easy way
Easy answers

Find them anywhere
Easy answers
Ain’t nobody care
Easy answers
I don’t wanna know

Easy answers
I don’t wanna know
Easy answers
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know
Promises made in the dark dissolve by light of day
Easy answers
Ain’t no saying what we’ll be, it’s always been that way
Only thing I know for sure, someone got to pay
Easy answers
Ain’t no easy answers, that’s all I got to say
Easy answers

Easy answers
I don’t wanna hear
Easy answers
Easy answers
Ain’t nobody there
Easy answers
Easy answers
C’mon now, let’s go
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know

Easy answers
Easy answers
Feel alright
Easy answers
Easy answers
Feel alright
Easy answers
Easy answers

Jimmy wishes he could die sometimes, this world of life is nothing but a classroom on the physical plane, is he meant for greatness, or will he get hit by a bus tommorrow?  The wind in the willows and the 18 yr old girl skipping down the wooded path.  Her pigtails flip-flopping as she leaves a trail of piney smoke swirling behind her.  Buddha, Jesus, The Great Spirit, the beat of the drum… rump-a-bum-pum..  pum  pum playing that drum.  The town Jimmy lives in is a death trap, he only has one finger left and its pointing at the door…  Built to last?  Or Born to Die, people surprise him, he cares not.  Shrug it off his shoulders, as he pets his cat, Posternutbag.  Jimmy sits on his lazyboy in his room, 2 foot graffix bong [original from the 70’s] lays smoking gently next to him.  His thoughts are on quantum physics, and molecular manipulation.  He is ready to run, run run runaway…  Into the darkness of his warped mind.

Digital hijacked flavors like pineapple flavored sublingual xanax

the invisible cloud of evil shit talkers, makes his heart hurt with disgust.

Maybee Jimmy is not like you?  I would hate to call him unique because that would make him special when all he is really is an enery force waiting to return home.  A starseed lost in the milkyway of the 3rd dimension, thankfully he can escape and take vacations when ever he wishes.  Jimmy is fed up something is on the brink, the question is does he have enough proclivitiy to turn the old rusted gears and get them moving again.

TO be or not to be that is the question?  Or is it?  Like a jungle DJ spinning Beck mixed with some Ghetto Boys [probably spelled wrong] tuning it into a dark electronica string band ensamble.  Long beards and moonshine, fiddle in hand.  Huckfin and mullberries when will it end?

SEEDLESS

Blurred streets, sane confrontation… A repeat of the night before and a repeat of my life.  Bombarded at the local pub from good friends trying to pull a half ass intervention on me.  Sorry I am under weight and I am not really in sync with my meds, I AM NOT USING DRUGS OK!  Yeah, yeah you have heard it all before and frankly I dont blame them for having the doubt that runs rampant in the back of their minds telling them, “He is using look at his sunken cheek bones”…  I swear on my sisters brand new babies life I am clean, but I am met with a look that says it all, they dont believe me.   They think I am am lying, they think I am strung out, they think I am unhappy.  The last point I will whole heartly agree to, I am unhappy and I am taking steps to change my 12 yr history of heroin abuse and the bagage that comes with it, why should I care what these people I have know half my life think of me.  When it is I who knows the truth, its a battle that is unwinnable.  No sense getting filled with anxiety over thoughts other people have about me set in there head like a fucking concrete slab.  Wheere’s the jackhammer?

Smokey
Humid Spilt Beer
Built to spill?
Built to Last…

 

Fog permeates my thoughts, making the rainy streets reflect the streetlights in a manner that reminds me of an abstract painting I am stuck gazing into a picture of art created on the pavement.  Green Thumb  Woodgrain swirls into the rythm of a girl gyrating to the beat down backwards beat.  Riding the snake, ride it west.  With a pocket fulla xanax and a pigtail’d girl.  Twisted in the spokes of your head, the smell of the young girls, riding the swell of the music.  Breasts swell with confusion.  Drool a little drop for me.  Liquid saliva a mouthfulla spit like a LSd trip comming on, ‘Gosh Dran Golly’ do I got to spit.  Splat.  Starlight the stars they do like the glitter on a swirling girls face.  Dizzy with eternity.  I break free, into the night, sliding in between shadows I go, a couple lungs fulla mother natures air has got me back into to a mode I can evaluate my surrounding instead of being force fed some derlict beat and never ending parade of girls in there tight clothes thinking they are hot shit, sorry your just another coke slut.

Swirving and zig-zaggin down the street, Jerry Garcia’s ‘Shady Grove’ pumps thru my earphone taking me back to images I dont want to view.  When that album came out it was Junk City, fill the barrel plunge the plunger and while your at it bring the next party favor around.  Ahh, two girls getting naked and making out on the table top, pissing of some young punk whose coke they almost knocked over, I hear the strumming of Jerry’s guitar.  Snap Out of it…

Back riding peacefully under the big old Elms and Oak trees, the quaint little houses make me think of what could have been for me, I should rephrase that and say what I what know was not what I wanted when I was in a position to achieve that.  The funny thing is I am in the same position as I was than, I am on top of the world I can do ANYTHING.

Lazy River Road…

The Sky was yellow and the sun was green… 

Sun Green jaded with rough cut emeralds in her eyes they shone like a green fire…

SUN GREEN

Sun Green started makin’ waves
On the day that Grandpa died
Speakin’ out against anything
Unjust or packed with lies
She chained herself to a statue of an eagle
In the lobby of Power Co.

And started yelling through a megaphone,
“There’s corruption on the highest floor.”
Suits poured out of elevators
“You’re all dirty.”

Phoneheads began to speak
“You can’t trust any of them.”
Security couldn’t get her down
She was welded to the eagle’s beak.

Sun Green leaned into that megaphone, said,
“Truth is all I seek.”
Security brought in some blow torches
News cameras recorded her speech,
“When the city is plunged into darkness
by an unpredicted rolling blackout

The White House always blames the governor
Saying the solution is to vote him out.”
On top of that great bronze eagle
Sun’s voice was loud and clear. She said,
“Power Co’s working with the White House
to paralyze our state with fear.”

It was a golden moment
In the history of TV news
No one could believe it
It just got great reviews

“Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.”

The Imitators were playing
Down at Jon Lee’s bar
When Sun went down to see ‘em
Someone followed her in a car

Now when she goes dancin’
She has to watch her back
The FBI just trashed her room
One of them kicked her cat

Damn thing scratched his leg
So he had to shoot it dead
And leave it lyin’ in a puddle of blood
At the foot of Sun Green’s bed

Jon Lee’s was rockin’
The Imitators drove it home
Sun was dancin’ up a heat wave
For awhile she was all alone

When up walked a tall stranger
Shadowed her move to move
In perfect unison
A supernatural groove

He took her by the hand
And the room began to spin
He said, “I’m Earth; Earth Brown.
You know the shape I’m in.

“I’m leavin’ tonight for Alaska
And I want you to come in the spring
And be a goddess in the planet wars
And save the living things.

“I’m ready to go right now,”
Sun Green told Earth Brown
“Let’s go back to my place,
pick up my cat, and leave this town behind.”

“Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean.”

Next day Sun Green got busted for pot
And it made the headline news
But then the charges all got dropped
And the story gets confused

‘I’d still like to meet Julia Butterfly
And see what remedy brings
And be a goddess in the planet wars
Try to save the living things

“But that might not be easy
Livin’ on the run
Mother Earth has many enemies
There’s much work to be done

“Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean, you’re dirty now, too.
Hey, Mr. Clean.”

 

If the rain comes
they run and hide their heads
They might as well be dead
If the rain comes
If the rain comes
When the sun shines
they slip into the shade
and sip their lemonade
When the sun shines
When the sun shines
Rain, I don’t mind
Shine, the weather’s fine
I can show you
that when it starts to rain
everything’s the same
I can show you
I can show you
Rain, I don’t mind
Shine, the weather’s fine
Can you hear me
that when it rains and shines
it’s just a state of mind
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
??? Earth to space cadets, come in…?
The silverspace ships are hidden behind the Sun
LET IT RAIN
BE THE RAIN
Save the planet for another day
Attention shoppers.
Buy with a conscience and save.
Save the planet for another day
Save Alaska!
Let the caribou stay.
Don’t care what the governments say
They’re all bought
and paid for anyway.
Save the planet for another day
Hey Big Oil!
What do you say?
We were runnin’ through the night
Never knowin’ if we would see the light
Paranoid schizophrenic visions
Livin in fear of the wrong decisions
We got to wake up
We got to keep goin’
If they follow us
There’s no way of knowin’
We got a job to do
We got to save Mother Earth
Be the ocean when it meets the sky
You can make a difference.
If you really try.
Be the magic in the Northern lights
Six Days…
six nights.
Be the river as it rolls along
It has three-eyed fish.
And it’s smellin’ strong.
Be the rain you remember fallin’
Be the rain.
Be the rain.
Yeah, rain was fallin’ and we’re soakin’ wet
Hail is beatin’ down on our heads
The wind is blowin’ through our hair
Faces frozen in the frigid air
We got to get there
Alaska
We got to be there
Before the big machines
We got a job to do
We got to save Mother Earth
Dream the hunter on the western plain
The birds are all gone.
Where did they go?
Dream the fisherman in his boat
He’s comin’ home empty.
He’s barely afloat.
Dream the logger in the great northwest
They’re runnin’ out of trees.
They got to give it a rest.
(There’s no other way to cut it)
Dream the farmer in the old heartland
Corporate greed and chemicals
are killin’ the land.
Next mornin’ Sun was up at dawn
She looked around and Earth was gone
Dark visions he had last night
He needed peace, he needed light.
He heard the rumble and
He saw the big machines
The green army rose
It was a bad dream
He had a job to do
He had to save Mother Earth
Be the ocean when it meets the sky
Greek freighters are dumping
crap somewhere right now.
Be the magic in the northern lights
(The ice is melting!)
Be the river as it rolls along
Toxxxic waste dumpin’
from corporate farms.
Be the rain you remember fallin’
Be the rain.
Be the rain.
Save the Planet for another day
Be the rain.
Be the rain.
Be the river as it rolls along
Be the rain.
Be the rain.
Be the rain, be the rain

Be who you want to be… and I will be who I am.  I have a massive urge to get Crocadile naked in the pale glow of fullmoon as it sets on a new dawn.  Curvey, perfect, to perfect?  Problems, fights, non-sense, just lets not talk, move a little closer to me.  I know you wanna, ahh to be the King of Nothing and I want you to be the Queen of the baseball bat.  Batter up…  I suppose your on the injured rooster?  Well getty up because the way the moon light is striking your perfect wineglass and than some breasts, I am sorry sometimes I cant control myself, its been awhile trying to tire the crocidile down if you would just quit spinning and moving and talking, lets just forget about everything for and hour or two, till were swollen tired.  Dissapear into that ectatic void of feeling you ontop of me, your like drug that erases all my problems, erases all my worries, I wish I could dissapear with you more often as it has been awhile.  Time will tell the golden slate stepping stones of fate have been laid out in the heavenly galaxy above us, its just a matter of us both being in the right frame of mind.  A figment of my imagination or a feeling never forgotten.  I will raise my glass of red liquid to the second theory.  How can a Crocidile make me so happy only I can wonder and she can guess, because if I knew, I would live a perfect life.  Gosh I miss those sweaty nights, speed-up television, vodka down the hatch, just watching you wait for me to make a move, will I am I waiting on you?  You know me or do you?  My time has come to end this fable.  The time might come on a spring night as tonight.  Or most likely if I can keep my mouth from acting up and letting my emotions and medications get the best of me, and treating you like a human being instead of me acting like a Natural Born Freak, zipping off on a tangent about nothing that really matters, but your watching a movie and I can tell my talking is irratating the fuck out of you, I wish you would say whats on your mind, I wish I would say whats on my mind.  A trip to the zoo….  Crocidiles and Alligators.  [Yeah figure that one out prying eyes?]  Figure it out and be quick to tell ‘so and so’ about some random thought I turned into a disjointed short story because does it really matter, does it matter to you?  Should it?  Do you like to read my scattered thoughts and piece together a picture you think you know but really dont have the faintest clue.  Velvet Underground comes to mind and a little bit of a Foggy Notion…

She’s over by the corner
Got her hands by her sides
They hit her harder harder harder
Till they thought she might die

Well I got a foggy notion, do it again
Over by the corner, do it again
I got my calomine lotion baby, do it again
I got a foggy notion, do it again

Standing on the moon.  I see the battle rage below.  Standing on the moon, I see the soldiers come and go.  There’s a metal flag beside me, Someone planted long ago.  Old Glory standing stiffly. CRIMSON, WHITE and INDIGO, indigo.  Standing on the moon.  Where talk is cheap and vision true.  Standing on the moon, but I would rather be with you.

Giant steps are what you take.  Walking on the moon, I hope my legs don’t break.  Walking on the moon.  We could walk forever… Walking on the moon.  We could live together, Walking on, walking on the moon…

Walking back from your house.  Walking on the moon.  Walking back from your house.  Walking on the moon. Feet they hardly touch the ground.  Walking on the moon, My feet don’t hardly make no sound.  Walking on, walking on the moon.

Some may say, I’m wishing my days away. No way! and if it’s the price I pay.  Some say Tomorrow’s another day.  You stay, I may as well play.

Giant steps are what you take, Walking on the moon.  I hope my legs don’t break, Walking on the moon.  We could walk forever.  Walking on the moon.  We could be together, Walking on, walking on the moon

Some may say, I’m wishing my days away. No way! and if it’s the price I pay.  Some say Tomorrow’s another day.  You stay, I may as well play

Keep it up.

Digital fuzz of technology morphing into pure crystal clear sanity story telling is it sane?  I will close my eye’s really really tight and make you all go away, make you all go away…  The power of the mind its crux’s and unlimited boundaries make me like to type keys and tell you a tale that floats like the clouds in my coffee, big ol’ fat white summer cumulous coulds so big, fat and fluffy.  Come take a seat with me in the clouds, I will form a lazy boy for two.  If you get tired just take the golden spiral staircase of stars down to the earthborne level.  Maybee I will join ya…?

Seedless is going to go feel the breeze now and whistle a little tune, hope for the best and expect the worse.

Bigger than man walking on the moon, Coming to a theatre near you soon.  This is what I’m living for.  You get a little bit, And you want a little more

Every dog will have its day, And all these dogs just want to play.  You will reap what you sow but the real truth we will never know…

Everything is fine
Crimes of the mind
I drink a little wine
Crimes of the mind
Here’s to modern times
Crimes of the mind

Everything is fine
Crimes of the mind
I drink a little wine
Crimes of the mind
Here’s to modern times
Crimes of the mind

Rolling in the grime
Crimes of the mind
Digging for a dime
Crimes of the mind
Blind leading the blind
Crimes of the mind

Coming at you thru a naturally altered state of mind…

Peace to all and blessings to all the people that are down on there luck especially that homless guy shaking his styrofoam cup of change, the ching, chang, makes you think of Ying and Yang, is Karma out to get you, can you be honest with yourself, let alone others.  Well I hope you can, Hail Mary and Our Father, standing on a conical shaped copper disk in the sky, lightbeams stream from there palms they go to embrace the world, and try to spead a little happiness.  So do me a favor, put a smile on your face, hold that door open, be a good little human being.  I’ll be watching….

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Peace,
Seedless

🙂

Let it shine let it shine… Just a little bit higher… Just a little bit higher…

Well the sun is shining and its a beautiful day, I am out cruising on my bike deciding on my next move, go buy somemore crystals? Its a good friends b-day today, I suppose I should get hiim something, I assume we will go out to celebrate with dinner but I might skip that. I have to get my orders in for Cacti, I keep forgetting to enter the forms and send them in, I really need to get a paypal card, to purchase some specimines from Ebay but I am a slacker, and will probably just use a friends account.

Watched the movie ‘Candy’ last night, [its a great book and its listed in my book list to the right –> Anyways, they did a pretty good job depicting the book and as usual when I watch dope movies, I get an errie sense of using thoughts enter my head, not really using thoughts per say, but just a flood of memories of when I was actively using and I almost had to stop the movie a few times, but didnt. One line that I liked was…

You can quit when you dont want to, but when you want to quit you can’t…

One of lifes great riddle’s…

I have a major plan of action brewing in taking action to increase my self-confidence, A] Weight lifting B] Deciding if I want to take a job with a friend, it would put me on a schedule but its work and well frankly I dont really feel like it but it would help me sooo much in structure of my life, money I could give a flying fuck about. C] Meds… The toughest part of it all, my ADHD meds have me speeding so fast I forget to eat and sleep and frankly I dont think I need them on a daily basis, maybe a dosage here and there to help me crawl out of my turtle shell when my anxiety levels are HIGH and my normal benzos, are just not enough. I have somewhat of a plan in my head on how I will go about it, It depends on other people lending a helping hand or the weight will be placed solely on me which makes it tough, when I have a big bottle of pills in my arsenal of meds that keep me sane.

So sad, that I am dependent on meds to get thru a fucking day, but its more out of habit now than nessecity. A habit that I can break, like a dried out fall twig, snap that motherfucker in half. Boom, bitch…. ahhh if it was only that easy. I have been attending a few of my old meetings from a different time and a remembered place, people, places, and faces dont change. I really like this one lady that I used to hand out with a bit outside of the meetings she is 15 years older than me but still pretty fucking hot but she gave me her # again, and told me to call if I need any help. I will never call, the phone is too heavy. She is planning a group/club trip to Costa Rica for sometime in the future [she owns a house and property right on the ocean down there] and Costa Rica has always been calling my name in the back of my head. I want to run away there and dissapear into the rainforests so bad. Follow some tribe of rainbow space cadets, into there jungle shacks. hehee

Regardless it is time for me to get a girlfriend, its tough finding one, when you dont have many places to look. I am not picking up another slut from a bar, just not happening. No way would I pick up a chick at a NA/AA/DRA meeting as they are just as wacked out as me, although the new ones ALWAYS have a high sex drive and just wanna fuck. I dont work so I dont have any options to find girls there. Its hard trying to meet a girl that I have molded in my mind. I am not to worried about it, I am a firm believer in fate and things happen in due time. Every spring is usually good for me, girl-wise… The problem is I dont pick them up I wait for them to pick me up, its worked for the last 30 years, and its hard to change my modus of operation and actually be one of those people I cant stand that hit on chicks and look like a fucking meat head. Lame but I guess some chicks like to play that game, myself I prefer no games. So thats that.

Twisted out on a broken mind
swirling colors, explode as my body heaves each breath in an ecstatic vibrations
Spray painted graffiti and homless nestled in there doorway homes
Patience runs out on the junky, the darkside hires another sole
Life, I am tired, in a constant state of anxiety
The wisest man is deemed insane
Where and when did my sanity disolve
Was it in the needle and spoon?
Am I the victim or the Crime?
Soon I will shine, the brightness will be blinding
strange shadows from the flames will grow
things we have never seen will seem familiar
diamond eyed jack will explode
in prismatic colors
dripity drop in your cup.
Eyes alight
Smile
The weather is fine…

Peace,
Seedless